The President’s Dick is Missing

Adam Club avoided the limelight as well as any gumshoe. For most clients, that professional caution was easily taken, at least for any detective long in the trade. For most clients, his disappearance was little noted. For most clients, his reappearance was more jarring. The President of the United States, however, was unlike most clients.

With a number of aspiring journalists in the vicinity of executive power, with that unruly mob not adhering to the discipline or fidelity to authority of the White House Press Corps, it was only a matter of time before the goings and comings of Mr. Club would be noticed and his role as the President’s dick ascertained.

For a master politician, as a President is apt to be, the object permanence of a private eye is rather more desired than for others employing his services. “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, your secret investigators closest.” When Adam Club failed to report on the frailties of a pesky Congressman, when he found a pocket of thick air into which he hid for days, then weeks, it was his client in the Executive Mansion who was the most alarmed. The webloids picked up the scent of fear and issued an all-points bulletin:

THE PRESIDENT’S DICK IS MISSING!!!